The rain never stopped, it just kept coming down like it was hell bent on drowning all the inhabitants of Kitale town. I can't complain though, I got to stay in most of the day and do some reading, writing and thinking. I also got some time to go into town today by myself. I love going into town and just observing. Today however I saw something that really hit me hard.
I was standing around talking to a couple street boys, and I noticed one that I had not seen before. Something wasn't right though, standing there staring I couldn't understand why my heart was hurting more then ever for this one. Then I noticed it, she was a girl, the first one I had seen. A street girl, it even sounds terrible to say; not that street boy isn't horrible. I don't know what it was about her that just made me want to cry out to God and ask him; why? She was sniffing glue, not unusual, but for some reason I could not stand to see her inhale the toxic fumes. Her eyes were empty, and I cringed to think about what terrible things they had seen and experienced. She just stared at me as I tried to talk to her, but my terrible Swahili was only matched with her worse English, my heart wept for her. I know her name is Josephine, and that she is 14, but other then that one can only guess where she comes from or where she is going. Even know, every part of me that hates what happens in the world is screaming for justice, and my heart aches. I have cried a lot while living here, but for some reason this idea of her and the rest of the boys in the rain tonight kills me.
This brings me to my next question: what the hell do I do? It is a thing that is always on my mind, and constantly in my prayers. What can I do? I am confident that the Lord has put me here for some reason, and I may not fully understand why for some time, but for now all I can do is try my best to follow His lead.
Our Last Full Day In Kitale
6 years ago
6 comments:
chris, i can only imagine how discouraging it was to see her today. you are doing what God has called you to do by just being there and loving everyone. you are giving them hope by showing them God's love. your heart is phenomenal. be assured that you are doing great things. chris you are always in our thoughts and prayers.
we all love you so much and we are so sad when you are sad. we pray that God's peace will be wrapped around you.
diana, melody and jasmine.
Chris my heart aches for you. As a Mom we are supposed to make it all better, but sometimes it is impossible. Your presence alone will have impact on the children of Africa. I sit here with tears running down my cheeks thinking of "what can I do for Josephine?" She and the rest of the 'street children" are in my prayers. You have such a wonderful kind heart. Yes, God has put you there for a reason and we can all see him working through you each and every moment.
My prayers and love to you,
Mom xoxoxoxoxo
Chris.... as you know, you don't need to know what his plan is. For you or for Josephine. Love you son.
Dad
Oh Chris, I understand..... completely.
Many is the night that I have listened to the rain on the roof as I lay warm and dry and physically comfortable in my Kitale bed.....tears streaming down my cheeks for the boys and girls out in the wet night only a short distance away.
And many is the night that I have gotten out of that bed and gotten down on my knees .... imploring God to show me HOW to be His hands and feet....HOW to be a light for those kids... to ease their physical addictions, their horrible living conditions, their lack of education, their hunger, their illness and injury, their loneliness and most of all.... their separation from Jesus.
Have I seen miraculous and instant answers to prayer? Yes, several times. But, mostly...God assures me that He has a plan and that I need to continue to walk the path I am on for these kids...one slow step at a time.
Love doesn't take away all of their problems... but, always remember Chris... that God's greatest commandments are to love Him and to love other people. I have to believe that loving them is the most important thing we can do.
I show them that love by my presence when I am there...just as you are doing every day. Then I show that love by telling others about them when I am here.
Last night I had this dream about linking people together. In my dream....I held hands with one child (it was Martin) and then I used my other hand to guide someone towards another child. They took that child's hand and used their other hand to guide someone towards another child...... and on and on until every single hurting child in Kitale had someone holding their hand.
I want to do it all myself...and I know you do too. But, God wants us to teach OTHERS to love these kids as well. He wants us to teach others that EVERY SINGLE PERSON who is blessed needs to share that blessing with someone in need.
The hard part to get through to people is what happens when you give to others. Every day, somebody tells me how wonderful I am because of Oasis. Well, first of all it is God who gets the credit for Oasis...I am just the hired help...but secondly, I always feel like I have this big secret. I am convinced that if people could ONLY understand the joy and incredible blessings that come from giving to others that there would be a literal stampede of people rushing in to help.
Yeah, it would be so much easier to just win the lottery and have enough money to take all the kids at Oasis to school and to start a bunch more group homes and buy a big piece of land on which to build our own primary school and vocational training facility..... but then it would be about ME and not so much about God.
After doing this for over 4 years, I now understand that this path that I am on is about the kids... but, it is also about teaching others the incredible joy that comes from giving to others.
The slow way is so difficult...but, in the end, I truly believe that the people who learn to give will be just as blessed as the kids who are helped. They will understand in a very real way about loving God and loving others. They will be closer to Jesus themselves because they have acted on the commandment.
So, my young friend... just keep doing what you are doing. You are loving those kids and you are touching the hearts of others who... one by one will want to reach out and take the hand of one of those kids and then lead another to do the same.
Just keep loving them like Jesus...... I am so proud of you!
Lydia
Chris... I SO second what Lydia said! Helping others - like the wonderful kids of Kitale - is both emotionally draining and self satisfying. If others could only feel what it's like to help others even a little, more would do it. You will carry your time in Kitale in your heart forever... the hurt for the kids and the warm feeling that only helping others brings.
Love you Chris...
DAD
Chris I just read Dianas blog and now I know why you have been absent from the computer. I pray for your safe trip and return. Love you so much and miss you terribly.
Momma xoxoxoxoxox
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