Friday, November 28, 2008

Suffering

As I continue my life here in Kenya I keep running into the same question, what should the effect of suffering be? I am not talking about suffering in my own life, but visualizing and experiencing someone else’s suffering. On any given day here I am made aware of more suffering in the lives of others then I could have imagined. So my question is what do I do with that?

I can think of a couple options:
-I can feel pity and leave it at that.
-I can go home being more grateful
-I can take action
-I can love the individual with all that I am

Of course none of these are mutually exclusive, and combining them all is probably the most effective action step, but which of these do I cling to? The question keeps coming to me like this, “OK I see all of this struggle, I see all of this pain, I love these people, I care about their lives, but what do I do next?” There are so many needs, that when you fill one hole, the others become even larger.

I have this burning in me, as I am sure many people do, to start the ultimate orphanage, or water program, or community center that will just close the door on suffering, while at the same time I know that at no point in time will that “fix-all” organization exist. However the burning for this type of program, as well as the conflict of knowing its impossibility becomes a sort of blow to ones ego. It is almost as if your shattered heart that causes you to want to do everything for these people, also pushes you to stumble.

I feel like we are so engrained by everything around us to bee the ONE, to make THE thing, that our conception of how God works through us becomes misconstrued. That may be the reason why there are so many churches, and those churches continue to splinter into other churches. This desire to have the ONE idea causes us to split from others who also have ideas, even if their ideas are fighting for the same purposes.

I don’t pretend to have any of the answers, actually I am admitting that I don’t have one, but for now all that seems to be evident is my need to love. I have to be able to push away my desire to solve the world’s problems, and just be content with the “I love you” of a child living with little love in their life.

It is so cliché, but, like usual, the times that I go out into the world and get involved in peoples lives expecting to teach them how to have better lives and how to grow closer to God, they teach me more then I could ever teach them.

For now I look at this face,



and pray; “what do I do next?”

Some happenings

I know that my post as of late have had little or nothing to do with the ministry that is going on here in Kitale, so I thought I would share some of the stuff that has been going on in the past couple days.

A lot of stuff has been going on at Oasis, and honestly there has just been to much information, and the girls have once again done a better job of documenting what has been going on so go to their blogs to read more about some really life altering things. If you can click on the links on the right you can get there very fast.

Our recently purchased Sheep had a baby, and this time I didn’t have to go through the rollercoaster fo emotions, it lived and is very healthy.


Sister Freda had a clinic on Thursday in Kipsongo for the children and the families.



I love when they do these clinics because I always go saying that I am going to work, but every time I show up there is nothing for me to do, so I just end up playing with the kids the whole time. The children in Kipsongo are incredibly loving for reasons that I have yet been able to discover. Freda and her team do so much for these children, and only because of their love of Christ and these children.

Last night we had a great thanksgiving dinner, and Geoffrey, Olivia and their baby Charlotte came over to join us. I love that baby, and I like to think that she loves me too.

I went into into this blog thinking that there was so much more to talk about, but there really isn’t, well there is but scince there is so much going o there is no way for me to even know where to begin.

Oh and by, as of November 27, 2008, there is 19 days left of me being here in Kenya. I keep asking myself, “how the heck can I be leaving that soon?”


This paper chain ends on the day that I leave; too small if you ask me.

better late then never

thanksgiving |ˌθa ng ksˈgivi ng |
noun
1 the expression of gratitude, esp. to God : he offered prayers in thanksgiving for his safe arrival | he described the service as a thanksgiving.
2 ( Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving Day) (in North America) an annual national holiday marked by religious observances and a traditional meal including turkey. The holiday commemorates a harvest festival celebrated by the Pilgrims in 1621, and is held in the U.S. on the fourth Thursday in November. A similar holiday is held in Canada, usually on the second Monday in October

For my whole life I have pronounced this day as Thanksgivingday, almost as if it were one word. I feel like this thinking has really diminished the importance and the meaning of this day for me. Sure today doesn’t mark the birth or death of Christ, but it is such an important reminder of something that we sometimes forget to do. In no way is today about pilgrim Indian relations, or the turkey, or wearing top hats with belts around them. Today is a day set aside to remind us of all that the LORD has sacrificed for us, and that we should turn our eyes upwards and give thanks to our God for his unshakable love.

From now on I will make sure that whenever this day roles around my eyes will face upwards, and I will remember that every day should be a day of thanks-giving.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

What Have I Learned?

As the weeks wind down, and the days become short, I can’t help but ask myself; “What have I learned here?” And right now all I can think to say to such a question is; “I don’t know.”

Coming here I had so many expectations of how God would change me. I kept telling myself how different I would be when I got back. I kept reassuring myself that I would be some solid wall for Christ, an unmovable force solely guided by the Holy Spirit. I mean after all, that is what is supposed to happen you when you go on “missions trips,” right? I regret all of those thoughts, and all of those words, and all of those expectations that I built for myself. I was so foolish to think that that is how God works in our lives. If anything, I have become more aware of my downfalls, and my tiny conception of how the Lord works on this planet. I guess that that is the first step to change, realization, but if step one is not followed by step two, the goal is never reached.

Of course there are moments here when I close my eyes and say, “I see God, that is what you were showing me.” I have seen, and heard more then I ever thought that I would in my whole life, and the knowledge I have gained concerning this country is immeasurably important to my understanding of how this corner of the world works, and how God works in it. Even though, after spending all of this time here, trying my best to serve, and be with the LORD, I have more questions then answers. As I write this I also wonder, “Is that what God wants me to learn?”

For know the only things that are certain to me are Christ’s death and resurrection, and the power of our God.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Faith

As my journey through life has progressed, Faith has been the thing I struggle with most. My mind is a racing, unpredictable and never ceasing mess. I always need to see results right away, I need the answers as the question is asked, and if doesn’t happen my brain is on to the next thing. Everyday I wonder, “what am I learning, what am I supposed to be doing, what should I be feeling?” My prayers are consumed by my desperate need for answers. It has been four months, and I still have no idea why the Lord has called me here. I know that my life has changed, and I can feel the spirit moving in me, but I still can’t pinpoint what it is the LORD is trying to ultimately teach me. This fact frustrates me everyday, but I know I must persists, and prayerfully walk in the light. All of that nonsense to say, I had a big revelation this week about faith and waiting on the LORD.

Emanuel is a baby who is currently living at sister Freda’s. Emanuel’s mother died when he was born, and his grandmother was forced to take care of him. Unfortunately his grandmother was unable to take care of him so she didn’t feed him, and soon dropped him at sister Freda’s hospital knowing that he would have a good life there. This is a picture of him when he was dropped off.




In this picture he is 6 months old, and severely malnourished. His eyes were empty, and he never smiled. Here is a picture of him today:






He is probably one of the fattest, happiest babies that I have ever known. Now you ask what has Emanuel taught me about faith? Actually he has taught me more then anything has in my short life. Through faith over the years Freda has been able to run this hospital with her husband Richard. Every month is a struggle to pay the doctors and nurses, as well as care for the various orphans that have been left there. Through faith, and hard work they have been able to save countless lives, and help heal so many broken lives. Now what I have realized through Emanuel is that sometimes faith produces fruits that you never even imagined, at unpredictable times. Through years of Faith and hard work the Robinsons have saved this child’s life, even if they had no knowledge of it when they gave everything to God. It is hard for me to put it into words, but I now realize that sometimes our faith doesn’t produce immediate fruits, or even the fruits that we expected it to produce. Sometimes the answers don’t come when you think they should, but when they do be prepared to be a fat happy child, with a new lease on life. (Cheesy, but there is nothing I can imagine being a better metaphor for the power of faith then this child.)

For now I pray that I never stop seeking wisdom and truth.

"Send forth Your light and truth, let them guide me." Psalms 43:3

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Kakuma round 2

Matt and I did it; we took the plunge, and the 12-hour bus ride both ways to be with the people of Northern Kenya. There is no way to describe our experience in Kakuma, other then by saying it was immeasurably life changing. The hurt, the sorrow, the happiness and the all around spectrum of emotions that was experienced on our trip was nothing that could ever, or will ever, be put onto paper. The best way for you to understand our trip is through pictures, and even then, it is hard to portray our feelings, and prayers to you. I promise then when I get home I will tell you everything that I can, because talking it is much easier then writing it.

For now, look at the pictures, and know that we are safe.












Thursday, November 13, 2008

Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Well It has been a couple days, and a couple things have happened. I have really enjoyed having Matt here, it has been so great being able to share this unexplainable experience with my bud.

So far we have laughed at jokes, laughed at African teenage fashion, laughed at boda bodas and slammed some Redbulls. We are looking forward to even more fun.


I promise that once my friend leaves and my life gets back to normal here that I will be posting on a regular basis again.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Birthday Wish and an Apology

First things first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD. So what is it 30? Man you sure are looking good for your age. Thank you very much for everything that you have done, are doing and will do for me. You are an amazing man of God, and your faith inspires me.

Second of all, I want to apologize for not writing on here in some time. As you may or may not know, my friend Matt is here in Kitale with me. We are having such a great time, and it is amazing to be able to share this experience with a person that I care so much about.

These last couple of days have been amazing, and I am sure that Allison and Daina have been posting everything on their blogs so go over there and check it out for more details. I probably wont be posting everyday, but if something great happens, I will share it for sure

God Bless,
Chris

Friday, November 7, 2008

Thank God...

Today I was hanging out with some children in their class and they were asking me questions through their teacher. One of the children raised his hand and said,

"What did you do last Friday?"

To which I replied "I went to the show."

Then they asked "Who did you go with?"

"I went with a bunch of street kids." I said.

At that, their eyes got really big and they said " Chris. Why do you spend time with street boys and orphans like us?"

I didn't hesitate and I said "Because Jesus Loves me, and he loves you. So I love you."

The look on the childrens faces said it all. At that moment, no one could deny the divinity of Jesus Christ.

What's more, that answer didn't come from my own wisdom, in fact it kind of just spilled from my lips, I was actually surprised at myself after I said it.

Our God is an Unbelievable God, who can create the entire universe, and still have love for each and everyone person.

Even orphans, like us.


Misconception pt. 3

In the last couple of posts I have tried, that being the key word, to describe the reasons that a child here in Kenya would end up on the streets. I already described two ways, 1.) The child is a true orphan, and has absolutely no family to take care of them. The second reason that I talked about was economic and family situations that cause children to venture out onto the streets during the day. The third reason is the one that I think makes the least sense to me. It isn’t that I don’t understand why the kids do it; it is just that the way that I grew up, and was socialized. I have tried my best to put a name to this reason, and here it is: the third reason that a child lives on the streets is the, “this life sucks I’m out of here.” Reason.

I know, I know, that name is childish, and a little insensitive but those couple words really sum up why some children live on the street. It is a sad truth that many Americans know little about the actual continent of Africa. In fact before I came to Kenya, I didn’t even know where Kenya was on a map, or what the political and economic situation was, maybe that was just me, but I feel like it is a general truth. That being said, when I came here I didn’t know what to expect from the climate, or even what the different climate regions of the country experienced on the weather side of things. Here in the Rift Valley region of Kenya it rains, a lot. The area that we are in now is considered the breadbasket of the nation. A majority of the open land in this region is allocated for the growing of crops, mostly corn. For the first couple weeks that I was here I can remember thinking, “man this climate is nice, not to hot, not to cold, just a little wet.” I was right, it was nice, but what I didn’t know was that this was a small part of the country, and that it was, by a long shot, the area with the nicest climate. I

In the north of Kenya, bordering Sudan, there is a region that is known as Turkana. Turkana is a desolate desert, sharing many of the same attributes with the California desert. Although there is little in the way of water and other resources, Turkana is still home to many small towns, and many people. Most of the people in this region are nomadic sheep and goat herders, who travel from place to place looking for anything that their goats can feed on. Turkana is where you can find towns like Lodwar, or Kakuma. These towns are not huge towns, but they aren’t tiny either, meaning that large populations of people live in or around the areas where these cities have sprung up. Lodwar is actually the capital of the Turkana district, and just so happens to be the place where many of the children that you find on the street in Kitale come from.

Now that you have a small picture of Turkana and Lodwar, let me describe to you why I call it the “this life sucks, I’m out of here” reason. Life in these desert towns is exponentially harder then life in other places of the nation. Food and water are scarce, and the sun is always beating down on your back. Not only is the climate terrible, but the tribal life is also very difficult. Everything that is in the tiny shops has to be shipped from the rift valley, which may take a day or two, causing the prices to soar for common goods, and the economic situation of most of these nomadic herders is not favorable, so this obviously causes a huge problem. This hard life, mixed with an already tough tribal approach to life causes many children to look for a better option. The children from these towns will often hear about Kitale, and decided that that is a better option for them. I imagine that it is in some way like when people were talking about the US at the turn of the century, and making all of those absurd claims about how would life would have no troubles. Whatever these children hear they decide to jump onto an empty truck and hitch a ride back to Kitale, having no idea what they will find there.

Now this is where my understanding in life differs. I can not imagine how bad things would have to be in my home that I would risk it all and travel to a place that I know little about. It just breaks my heart to think of a child having to make that decision, and then to go through with it only to find themselves living on the streets. When I first found out about this I thought about how sad it was that these kids didn’t find the dream life that they were looking for, but then something occurred to me. This life on the streets must be better then the life back in their homes, otherwise they would have just gone home when things didn’t pan out in Kitale.

So in short, many of the children that live on the streets in Kitale had such a hard life where they were living, that they decided to risk it all, and live on the streets of Kitale.

The length of this post is terrible, I know, and I apologize. Hopefully I didn’t write all this in vain, and that someone has a better understanding of the situation of street children. Now let me give a warning, these are, obviously, not all the reasons that a child would end up on the streets, and in fact many times these reasons mesh together. This is just a broad picture of what I have learned while being here.

I thank God everyday for allowing me to better understand the world that he created, and teaching me what life is really supposed to be about. Thank you for reading my sporadic, and unemotional writing, I pray that your heart breaks for these children as much as mine does.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Misconception (cont.)

Last post on this subject I talked about the first reason that I have observed that children end up on the street. I thought that I would continue on this post talking about the second way that children end up on the street.

Children are born into situations, and we all know that those situations shape a child's life drastically. The second way that children end up on the streets is a very complicated one; it has a lot to do with the economic situation that many families are caught up in. Unlike in the US schooling here in Kenya is not 100% free. Recently the government declared that education for every child was free, but the reality of the situation is that it just isn't. There is little money that is allocated from the government to the public schooling system causing many teachers, as well as supplies to go unpaid for. For this reason schools are forced to try and raise money to pay for their expenses by telling children to bring money, or school fees as they are called, from their parents. Many families just don't have any funds to allocate to school fees. It sounds absurd but when the choice is feed your family or send them to school, the choice becomes obvious. Years of this, as well as tribal attitudes have caused many families to put the need for education in the back seat. The problem that occurs from these attitudes is that as the towns become more industrialized, these poorer families are forced to live on the outskirts of towns, in areas that are so kindly named, slums. These slum areas usually consist of tin sheeting, or mud houses, packed very close, with dirt roads and no sewage system to speak of. I guess in the U.S. we would probably call them ghettos, which isn't any better of a name, but there is really no way to put a kind name on these makeshift towns. As the children grow up in these slums, and their families have no resources to buy them uniforms, or pay school fees, a child has two choices: 1.) stay around their slums, and work or just do nothing OR 2.) go to the streets where they can be free to beg for money, sniff glue, and do whatever they want. The pull of the streets an unbelievable force, that I may never understand, but many children choose this life. The children wake up in the morning, go out onto the streets, and then return home at night to sleep.

Many of the children from these slum areas are victims of not only poverty, but abuse from parents, and mostly step parents. Many of the households are forced to make a local brew, causing alcoholism to run rampant in the slums. This search for a better life is a huge factor as to why children often spend their days and nights on the streets. I could not imagine thinking "I want a better life, I know, I will go to the streets." That is just something that I could never understand, and it is for that reason that my heart breaks for these children.

I have tried my best to explain this situation in words, I know that it is scatter brained, and poorly written, but I hope you can see a bit of the picture.

In Christ,
Chris

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Obama Who?

Everyone back home has their eyes fixed on the tv, watching as Obama becomes the first African American president. But I say the heck with it all, I don't care who the president is, or how many hundreds of millions he spent to get there, as long as I am hanging with this guy as he does art, I am just fine...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Misconception

When I see a child, on the street alone, dirty, begging for money and holding a bottle of glue to his face, my initial thought as to where he has come from is, “Oh I guess his parents died.” I have come to realize that is a misconception.

After doing a lot of interviews with children who live either in group homes, or are in boarding school through an organization, I have come to learn where most of these children really come from. It is true that some of them are “true” orphans, and that they really have no family to turn to, but that is definitely the minority.


Something that just doesn’t register for most of us, who come from a loving, western, home, is the idea of a parent having no regard for their child. The idea that a parent would care so little resources that knowing your child is on the street begging for money and sniffing glue, is an alright option for them, is impossible to imagine.

After the short time that I have been here I have discovered that a lot of these children do in fact have homes, or that somewhere their family does exist. That being said, the situation begs the question, what is it that is so bad where they came from, that a life on the streets is the better option? I may never know the answer to that question, due to the fact that I will probably never experience the suffering and Heartbreak that these children face. So, what are the scenarios that cause these children end up on the street? I have thought about it for some time and come up with a broad explanation of the ones that I run into most, and I think you will be surprised at some of them.

The first reason that a child would live on the street is the standard, no brainier one. A child who has NO family, at all, is forced to live a life on the streets. In a country where even educated adults have an extremely hard time finding a job, an uneducated child is pigeon holed into the street life. The HIV/ AIDS epidemic, economic stresses, as well as intertribal clashing have caused the mortality rate in this country to soar. I don’t know of one child that I have met here that has not experienced some death in their immediate family. There are children who have no one to turn to, either their whole family has passed-away, or they are not in contact with any part of them, making them “true” orphans. This scenario is very much the minority, in fact, out of the many children that I have talked to about the issue; I can barley think of three who would fall under this category. Needless to say this is one of the most heartbreaking scenarios for any child, to be completely alone in the world. I have hope for these children though, Because it is not an isolated problem to this country, it occurs all over the world, I am confident that other nations who have been more successful in solving the issue of orphaned children can pull together and inform nations who are struggling with the issue, on effective ways to deal with orphaned children.

I know that this post is long so I am deciding to explain the next scenario in my next post. I am not sure if anyone really has a desire to know this, but it has been on my mind lately and I have really wanted to document it, and I thought this a good outlet for that.

Peace in Christ

Sunday, November 2, 2008

How..

How can you have a child and not love it?
How can you sit back as your child spends his days on the streets sniffing glue?
How can you love one child and not the other?
How does a nation allow the sale of toxic glues to children, when they have a non toxic option?
How do you teach a child to love, who has never been loved?


How does God want to use me?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

show me the show

So as promised, I will do my best to describe my experience at the “show”. Every year at the end of October the agricultural show comes to Kitale town. There is a show ground that is dedicated to the show, sort of like the fair grounds in Orange County. The show is probably the biggest thing that happens every year, and people come from all around Kenya to go. It is so big, that most schools give one day off during the week so that the students can go, and “learn”. In reality the show is just a place for a bunch of people to get together, eat some sweets, look at some things, and interact with other people.

For me, it sucks. Now I know that is being insensitive, and just rude, but hear me out. There is nothing worse for me then standing in the sun all day and looking at the best cows, corn and grass in town. The only redeeming part of the show is watching the kids enjoy it so much. Really I can’t see what the big deal is, but the fact that the children find so much joy out of walking around the show, is reason enough for me to spend three hours there, dying of thirst.

Every time that the show come to town, Oasis gathers all of their kids from the center, houses, and even students that they have enrolled at boarding school, so that they can spend a day at the show. There is really no way to tell you how exciting this is for a kid who has spent the last 5 years sleeping on the street, I don’t think anyone could understand it, unless they went through it.

So although the show is nothing to me, the idea of having a day free from focusing on the hardships, desperation and heartbreak that these kids lives involve, is worth the world.